Why do people have friends?

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Mettyx
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Why do people have friends?

Post by Mettyx » Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:47 am

This might seem strange to some but I always wondered why people have friends, I personally don't even have acquaintances let alone friends, everything I do is online.

What does one get from such a relationship, it can't be advice or information since there is google and books...far superior sources of wisdom and knowledge.

I just never bothered with any of it, it seems such a nuisance and waste of one's time. Does this make me weird?

Vicotnik
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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by Vicotnik » Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:58 am

Books are better in digital form, and easily downloaded from the net. Sex on the other hand.. Not quite the same. I suggest a mix of online and offline life.
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Mettyx
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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by Mettyx » Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:12 am

Vicotnik wrote:Books are better in digital form
Of course, I haven't bought anything physical in years, except food of course..
Last edited by Mettyx on Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

shunx
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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by shunx » Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:19 am

Why do people have fun or hobbies, when it all seems like a waste of time?

Mettyx
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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by Mettyx » Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:43 am

shunx wrote:Why do people have fun or hobbies, when it all seems like a waste of time?
You are getting at something here, usually people have fun offline so it inherently involves activities with other people so you become accustomed to them and add them to the list for further such activities.
This is all alien to me since everything I do is online.

It might be that friends will become a thing of the past.

andyb
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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by andyb » Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:53 am

I just never bothered with any of it, it seems such a nuisance and waste of one's time. Does this make me weird?
Yes you are weird, unless this is a great example of "trolling".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship

There are many numerous reasons why humans (most mammals in fact) and most bird species amongst many others have "friendships" (to simplify I will use the word "friendship" to cover everything in the Wiki article and its many sub-categories).

The obvious ones are to gain the best chance of survival of your offspring (remember that Humans exist because we procreate), even in modern societies a single mother/father will have much more difficulty raising their children, this has 2 obvious knock-on effects, having further children is even more difficult reducing the ability for that parent to spread their genetic code, and the children that they do have will be worse off than those with 2 parents - we can only imagine how much more difficult it would have been 10 or 20 thousand + years ago.

There is much more information on the subject than I wish to type up, so I refer you to the Wiki article linked above.
What does one get from such a relationship, it can't be advice or information since there is google and books...far superior sources of wisdom and knowledge.
I would disagree totally. If you were presented with 2 forms of information or advice, you should not give them the same degree of "trust" about which is the most accurate information or the best advice. Also it is often the case that the evidence or advice that is the best "presented" is not actually the best, it just seems the best, and again "trust" and "truth" are all relative, this is one of the main reasons why religion and language (primarily) spreads through families, you have "trust" with your parents and other near relatives and family friends and personal friends and as such you will be far more likely to believe what a friend or relative tells you than a random stranger (especially when young), this is why an awful lot of young people refuse to believe their school teacher over their parents, there is a higher degree of "trust" with their parents.

This "trust" is a biologically defined part of both nature and nurture and along with our sociability and language is a large part of why Humans have evolved to be so much more intelligent than other animals on this planet.

If you had something wrong with you medically, you could look on Google or you could ask in forums but you would be a fool to not see your GP, your GP can look at you, ask you detailed questions, run tests and so on that simply cannot be done effectively or within a sensible timescale, or even at all in the case of tests.

Anyway, you are here asking us real living breathing Humans beings with our own life experiences and opinions what we think "above and beyond" what Wiki says, we will all likely give you a different answer because we are all different, this is why I personally favour asking people questions on an online forum vs FaceBook, there are far more reasoned and lengthy responses and counter arguments because it is far more like a real conversation than FaceBook, however... compared to a discussion with a few friends in the pub, direct human conversations win hands down because you can gauge by body language, facial expressions, voice tone and many other expressions as much about what they are trying to say as what they are actually saying.

You could look up the most popular beer in your country on Wiki or via Google, but that wont tell you much compared to asking some friends in the pub which one is their favourite and why, or how they think that it compares to the other beers for sale in that pub and how they are different - real Human interaction on the personal level is of huge and significant importance to most people.

If you dont feel the need for "friendship" with people in person, then your brain is likely wired up differently from the norm - this is not necessarily a bad thing and is not meant to be derogatory, although it would be better if you knew "why" you dont have any friends or even feel the need for them.


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Reachable
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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by Reachable » Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:53 am

You do have friends, i.e., us.

Before there was online, to have a discussion like this you had to go to a bar and imbibe a solvent and breathe the smoke of the tobacco nightshade, all the while having the conversation deteriorate into primal passions.

And online you can find friends you never even could have imagined, with which you can share aspects of yourself you never would have told anyone about.

So this is all really new, and it definitely has taken away much of the traditional reasons for face-to-face contact.

We all still need attention, though, and what's going to happen I can't tell you. But I don't think you're weird.

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Re: Why do people have friends?

Post by edh » Sat Oct 20, 2012 10:55 am

Unless you are trolling, I would say you are unusual for not associating with others in real life. If you are trolling, then you're wierd and probably don't have any friends anyway.

What do you do for a living? To be successful in work you need to be successful with people. I know some people might disagree with me but you find a successful business leader who isn't good with people. Learning to make friends with people is a great way of learning to work with different people and will further your career, that is unless you're a lighthouse keeper.

Are you in a relationship? Are they your friend also? If you are not in a relationship (this is a type of friend) then would you like to be in a relationship?

From How to Win Friends and Influence People, If everyone read this book before posting on Internet forums, it would stop so many arguments before they started:
Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You
Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new visions, new ambitions.
Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
Increase your popularity.
Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
Increase your earning power.
Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in your daily contacts.
Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong."
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise every improvement.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
Don't nag.
Don't try to make your partner over.
Don't criticize.
Give honest appreciation.
Pay little attentions.
Be courteous.
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
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